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Category: Humour

Max's Musings Feb 14

27-Mar-14

I can understand the considerable relief Noah and his family felt as the waters receded from the earth.  It must have been pretty grim: forty days and forty nights cooped up in a combined farm and zoo with only dung for fuel; nothing to see but water; and no certainty that the Flood would ever end.  But, when you consider the alternative, the situation had its compensations.

Does the story of Noah have application to our situation in general practice today?  Are the threats as terminal?  What can take the place of an ark to see us through the hard times ahead?  One hospital trust (South Staffordshire) has 'drowned' recently.  How deep will the waters rise on the NHS?

No, the analogy can be taken too far but I don't doubt that we are in for troubled times ahead, at least until the economy recovers.  Looking on the bright side, because I will no longer be allowed to feed as much into my pension pot as previously I shall now invest in fine whiskies to see me through my dotage in style.

Max's Musings Jan 14

27-Mar-14
Many years ago now, when going on strike was known as the 'English Disease', the grave diggers threatened to go on strike.  Do you remember the spate of 'panic dying' that took place before the strike was due to come into effect?  Anything rather than have the Royal Engineers prepare their last resting place.  Mind you, the USA now thinks that we are incapable of 'full-spectrum operations' but they are wrong; our troops can still dig graves with the best of them, and who needs an aircraft carrier (sans aircraft) for that 'mission'.

Max's Musings Dec 13

27-Mar-14
My wife and I have hit on a new way of ensuring that Christmas keeps some of its magic and surprise.  No, I don't mean kidnapping the grandchildren or visiting Anne Summers.  It has become increasingly hard to guess what we would each like for Christmas so we have decided to agree a budget and then we each go out and buy what we want, wrap it ourselves and on Christmas Day we give it to the other to open.  So we then have the pleasure of opening an unknown item and also the genuine pleasure of receiving something we really want. 
I can see that we might in future be buying operation vouchers, redeemable at any Acute Hospital where hip replacements, knee replacements, cataract removals and angioplasty are offered.  We may discover more about each other than we have previously let on!
So now it is all downhill to the festive season.  Peacefulness certainly descends on our practice on 24th December which might just give me the chance to do my last minute shopping, as I always do, that afternoon.
Merry Christmas one and all!

Max's Musings Nov 13

27-Mar-14
I have to confess to a sneaking admiration for the Government.  Its wish to assign a named GP to look after me in the not so very distant future is quite frankly brilliant.  Of course I have to be realistic: my BMI figure is almost as big as my waistline and I have made one or two lifestyle choices which are going to make that GP's job much harder - if I survive that long.
Which reminds me, I need to decide what my grieving (?) brothers and sisters should do with my corpse.  Should I leave my body to the medical schools as an awful warning to others of the penalties of too much good living and not enough golf?  Cremation might do instead, but is the door of their furnace large enough?  Or I could opt for burial  in a wicker coffin in an arboretum somewhere; that could be a challenge but borrowing a military high mobility load carrier to get me there and a crane to lower me in should do the trick.
But that will, I trust, be many years away yet.  The NHS prides itself on delaying the Grim Reaper far longer than formerly.  So for now I will look after my patients as I have always done, and hope that in due course my GP will still be there to look after me in my anecdotage.

 

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